Photos by : Milo Belgrove and Nima Elm

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The Palace Pier

To me, this is an emblem of the depressing shit that Brighton has come to represent. The entrance welcomes you with the potent smell of exchange students, drug addicts and rotting burgers served by some poor immigrant who day in, day out has to make slop for the horrid foreign kids with their neon rucksacks. There is a distinct air of misery on the Pier. Hardly anything is ever open, even in summer. The poor fucks that actually have the misfortune to work here must have the daily reminder that their life is shit.

Don’t bother going into the Arcades. If you were to go all CSI shit in there, I’m pretty sure that you would find buckets of semen, piss, blood and whatever else. I’ve seen people fucking on those driving game-seats so you can only imagine what horrors the machine guns have seen. The prizes you can win are laughable. They are so awful and all fake. So, unless you want to waste money or win a ‘cuddly’ toy that is probably a fire risk, don’t bother.

The rides are an option for you, should you wish to be gawped at by the grim staff who have nothing else to do with their day apart from press buttons and stare at you as you try to ignore the fact you & your friend are the only people on the Dodgems, or even on the pier. I’ve never liked or enjoyed the ‘ride’ section of the Pier. It’s not just the safety aspect (growing up, there have been innumerable rumors of people falling off rides into the sea etc etc) it’s just that there is no sense of fun or anything. I wish Brighton had that strip like the one in Lost Boys. So avoid the pier, it’s a waste of time and you’ll probably need to get pissed afterwards to wash the disappointment and sadness away.

The North Laine & The Lanes

The North Laine is basically a set of parallel streets containing a vast array of bullshit shops and cafes with the odd crap hairdresser thrown in. It hasn’t changed much since I was young; although now I always think I can smell regurgitated Innocent Smoothies, probably because I always see these three-wheeled-pram using mothers force feeding their bratty (and weird named) kids organic slop instead of Mr. Juicy which was good enough for me as wee’un. There are those shops where you can get dildos, vibrators, and gimp masks right next to some bland beige boutique where someone like Judi Dench would perhaps shop. There are a few cafes selling overpriced lentil shit or ‘meat-imitation pasties’. There are one or two good pubs, but it’s normally hit and miss with the people inside. I’ve seen far too many middle-aged, seemingly alcoholic Mods for one lifetime. There is nothing really to buy. Even the places that were once good, e.g. Snoopers Paradise (an emporium selling everything old and strange) has now become infected with pretentiousness and is ridiculously overpriced).

The Lanes consists of an amazing amount of rank jewelers and the only decent record shop in the whole bloody city. Just don’t bother.

Clubs

There is not one good club or even club night in Brighton (Smack That nights apart). Seriously. The biggest ones are on the seafront and you can normally find any STD you want in these places. The music is normally so mainstream and dire, the people so vacuous and dressed head-to-toe in River Island, afterwards you would probably want to wade into the sea with rocks stuffed into your pockets and die, just to avoid the same experience. The stench of semen dribbling out saggy vaginas from the night before is always too much for me to bear. Even the people that are relatively ok, are not, if they venture into these shitholes. Away from the seafront, there is no real night that is worth going to. Most of the people that go to the club nights that are tolerable, are pretty uninteresting. I’m pretty sure almost all of them are illustration/graphic/photography students because they are all fucking boring. I have no idea where the interesting people of Brighton hang out. In all the good pubs, they are never to be found. To be honest, all the good people have probably returned to London.

Students

The ‘human rats’ proliferate the streets like rubbish. I have no idea how many there are, but it must be a lot. Too many than is normal. Everything in Brighton seems to be controlled by the student population in some way. They are everywhere…they are the ones who do all the shit nights, the ones who are in every pub and cafe (no matter where you are in the city) and the ones who have exhausted all supplies of K. If I have to talk to, or just encounter another curly quiffed, quilted jacket, deck shoe wearing prick with a bow tie again, I’m going to sew up my vagina and remove my womb so that in the event of an apocalypse, I do not have to procreate with one.

Probably best to stay where you are.

Words: Nina Lily Gill
Photos: Sam Hiscox and Google

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Hello Eleni, how are you today?

I’m fine, skiving off college ‘cause it’s raining.

When did you first start taking photographs?

I started taking photographs properly when I took photography as an A-level. So I was 16, shit, that’s nearly 3 years ago.

You use a lot of sexy young models in your work, is that something that you have done consciously, or are you just lucky to have good-looking friends that don’t mind being photographed semi naked?

I consciously only make friends with good-looking people. I’m joking, not really. I’m lucky to have a collection of lovely looking and willing friends which helps, but yeah the naked thing is a totally conscious decision.

Some of your most recent photographs on you flickr are of girls with guns, my two favourite subjects, where did you get the guns from and why?

I really like guns too… and girls! There that’s it, that’s my thought process. Easy right? Nah, I was at my friends’ house and he has such a weird collection of weapons I was like ‘I bet you don’t have a gun though’.  Two minutes later he walks in with a huge rifle. We all had a go shooting it and I just thought this is fucking cool… Imagine if we were all naked! It would be amazing. So I decided to photograph it!

I recently read somewhere that you are Brighton’s best FEMALE photographer, do you agree with this statement? How long until you are just Brighton’s BEST photographer?

Well yeah, but that’s just one persons opinion. No, I don’t agree with it. I’m sure there are loads of other girls taking amazing photos, they just might not be exposed on the Internet the same way I am.
I kind of like being the best FEMALE photographer. It’s good enough for me.

I spoke to Louie Banks a few months ago, just before the release of Gang Up issue one, you’re going to be in issue two. How did you land that?

Well, one of the main curators of the magazine Kevin Mason (darkdaze) discovered Louie over a year ago. I met Kevin when I went to the studio with Louie as one of his models, but I wasn’t actually that good in front of the camera. Kevin realised I was better behind the lens, plus he’d seen my work on flickr and I guess he saw some potential, even though at that point the stuff on there was pretty average. He has basically been the best mentor for both Louie and me since then. He has exposed us loads, bigged us up and got us jobs. Thanks Kev!
I had a picture in issue one and was always planning on putting more in issue two, even if they didn’t know it! But it turned out they did want me in issue two so Kevin asked me to keep him updated on ideas and shoots I had coming up and that’s how it worked.
I have just planned the second shoot for issue two with Emma Sandam King, one of the Ophelia Fancy two, who help with styling and ideas. They’re amazing. It’s going to be good, I’m excited.

You know the Louie Banks interview on Smack That is the most viewed thing on the website. Do you reckon you could beat him?

Nah, probably not he’s already riding the fame boat. Which is alright I don’t mind. I know I’m better, haha.  Jokes, Louie’s amazing I hope he makes it big, ‘cause he deserves to.

You shoot a lot in odd locations. Are there certain secret places to shoot that only photographers know about?

I know of a few places like abandon factories and stuff like that, which a lot of photographers know about. Maybe there is some sort of photographer only location guy leaking out all these secrets. Who knows, its just word of mouth isn’t it?
Most of the locations I use are places I’ve been around a lot at the time or friends houses. For example those pictures in the lift and corridor of Martha, was round the back of Churchill Square where I was working at the time. I’ll probably never go back there. I like that the locations kind of reflect what I’m doing in my life at that point, it’s a personal thing.

Is there one particular photographer that has influenced you, who’s your favourite?

My influences change constantly, my style changes constantly, sometimes I want to take natural un-posed and un-edited stuff and sometimes I want total control over everything about the image. At the moment I’m more into natural lighting, film and the outdoors, so not too much planning.
There is no way I can put my finger on one particular photographer because I feel that I’m influenced by so many different styles, not just fashion photography. Well… not just photography! Art, people, music, trends, all has a say in the outcome. I probably don’t look enough at other photographers work. I’m not actually studying photography at the moment, so finding new work is hard without a photography teacher with a brain full of artists to suggest to suggest to me.

You signed that photograph for me which was in the back of the last gang up magazine, it was two girls legs protruding from behind a curtain, I’ve seen quite a few photos by you that seem to just be girls legs. Is that a theme you like to follow? I quite like the idea of a whole exhibition following a theme like that.

Yeah, the legs thing. I started getting into that when I was doing my A Levels because I was looking at Guy Bourdin and Helmut Newton who do a lot of that, suggestive narrative. I think they also got me so obsessed with naked girlies! I’ll probably always go back to just legs, I like them a lot. It’s like a tease, and I like teasing. Maybe you will be seeing an exhibition following that theme soon. That’s a good idea Luther. But then again maybe you wont… ooo teasing.

Whose in the next issue of gang up and when’s it out, will there be another launch party like the last issue?

It will be the same as before; Kevin Mason, Sam Hiscox, Louie Banks and little bit of me. We’re having a party as well; it’s going to be well fun. Hope to see you there.

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Holy fucking shit – New semi-interesting band for us all to talk about for a bit! Yuck are a stupidly new project, only setting up their myspace a few months ago, and already have a shitload of hype surrounding them, including a whole NME wankfest thing recently. Yuck comprise of two members from Cajun Cunt Party, some bird and some fat bloke. Thankfully they sound nothing like the previous band they were in and instead play a kind of early 90′s dreamy grunge ting. New single “Georgia” and personal favourite “The Wall” are perfect lo-fi pop tunes with great melodies that thankfully never become too cheesy, unlike bands they played with in the past…
With some gigs lined up with fellow HYPESTARS Egyptian Hip Hop and Dum Dum Girls at places like The Old Blue Last and all those shitholes on the horizon, im sure they’ll be getting ’nuff props in the coming months. A little bird told me theres a BTN gig in the pipeline so keep your eyes and ears peeled lads and ladettes…

http://www.myspace.com/yuckband

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Alright, Smack That minions. We have something very exciting to tell you all. Lutworth, Hulk Rogan and Murley Bassey have been organising a new and exciting monthly club night soon to hit the streets of Brighton.

TEEN CREEPS is to be held at a secret location in Brighton each month, with live music from some of the UK’s hottest new acts, guest and resident DJ’s playing the best in Electro, Synth, Rap and Dancable Indie, plus loads of cheap booze. All of this will be available to you for under a fiver. What more could you ask for?

We are also looking for people to join us and help with promotion etc, as well as DJ’s or bands to play at TEEN CREEPS, so if you’re interested in working for an exciting new club night please send an email stating what service you think you may be able to offer us and we’ll go from there:

teencreeps@smackthat.co.uk

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I’ve put a few up from the collection and will put more up soon, but it does seem to take forever, scanning etc.

If you recognise yourself in any of the pictures please get in touch. And also if you would like to contribute, then send your photos (the real thing, not a scan) to us.

Smack That
45 Stanley Road
Brighton
East Sussex
BN1 4NH
UK

Enjoy.

More coming soon…

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Do you, like me, occasionally eat the western super snack Bachelors Super Noodles (AKA Super Noodles) and find that juices fly off the noodles and into your eyes or onto other parts of ones person? Well now there is an answer, a technique known as the scissors not the slurp!

Watch this instructional video to learn all you need to know.

Especially useful for boys (or girls?) with facial hair.

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We caught up with him in the North Laine, this is what he had to say.

Words: Lutworth

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Instead, the Bank Holiday weekend could be spent visiting the following:

Notting Hill Carnival

We could head up to the big smoke for the weekend and dance around the streets with some of our “coloured cousins”. Yes that’s right, Carnival is taking over the streets of West London for the Bank Holiday weekend again. Soundsystems to gravitate to are: Disya Generation on Powis Terrace, Rap Attack on All Saints Road, or if you’re looking for something a bit more “white” there’s always Gaz’s Rockin’ Blues on Talbot Street.

Reading Festival

Hop on a train and hope that you can bump into someone you know who just happens to have a wrist band that they can slip off.

Duke of Yorks

All Beachdown ticket holders get £1 off all weekend. Oh great. That makes up for not seeing Ocean Colour Scene. Ha Ha Ocean Colour Scene.

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